


tell me how this, and love too, will ruin us

by botticellis (itomorian)



Series: super marvel(lous) [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Mentions of blood and wounds, Minor Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Na Jaemin, Non-Chronological, Non-Linear Narrative, Science Fiction-y, Songfic, Soulmates, Superhero Kun, Superheroes, Supervillain Jungwoo, superhero x supervillain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27365212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itomorian/pseuds/botticellis
Summary: "Knowing who our soulmate is… It doesn't get better for us anyway, hyung." Jungwoo smiles then, but it's a sad little grimace on his lips that Kun sees. "People with the same soulmate marker as ours… We loseeitherway. So why shouldn't we find our happiness with someone that we care for, and who cares for us?"—In a world where all kinds of soulmate indicators exist, Jungwoo tries to erase the words tainting his wrist.
Relationships: Kim Jungwoo/Qian Kun
Series: super marvel(lous) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2159388
Comments: 17
Kudos: 42
Collections: Challenge #3 — soulmates





	tell me how this, and love too, will ruin us

**Author's Note:**

> cw, tw // blood
> 
> the title is from the poem scheherzade by richard siken.
> 
> thank u so much, alw mods, for organising your lovely fest, and this round! always so grateful for ur hardwork !!! 💞💞💞
> 
> please note that this is heavily based on the song 'the ending' by wafia and finneas.
> 
> i very much recommend listening to the [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/7D0cVenTs7PXBbGLQkNaYw?si=Uub8upr0Ti-CAt1VcufRdg) this is inspired from, and [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7fleJgn57lJAKWjnlpTmAz?si=BpFRaIWAQo-SB5sA69BGIQ) is a playlist u could listen to while reading. 
> 
> hope u enjoy reading!

Kun feels like he's having an out of body experience. 

It’s a nice, sunny day, a bit more temperate — quite unlike the days are at this time of the year, it’s _barely_ March — but perhaps that should’ve been an obvious sign that things were going to go south like this. 

He's present in the moment, yes, _very much so,_ but it truly does feel like he's staring at himself through a looking glass, from a vantage point somewhere close to his shoulder — his spirit having separated from his body — while he tries to process what the fuck is happening right now.

Astral Projection is not, however, his strongest suit — it isn’t his suit _at all,_ period.

_Oh God. This is all wrong._

He feels strangely out of it.

Things were not supposed to go this way.

_"Agent Qian—what's the status—" "Do you copy—ian—Captain—" "—what is your status on Zeus—"_

There's a cacophony of voices in his ear— cold— _cruel—_ as if nobody cares about what's going on— as if the man counting his last breaths in his arms isn't a person. As if he's only a face-claim for a name — Kim Jungwoo, Scientist, Mastermind, Super-Villain, Enemy of the State.

Kun pulls out the in-ear and holds it in between his thumb and forefinger for an entirety of five seconds before he lets the grief— the helplessness— the _anger_ take over him, and crushes the device before tossing it away. 

There sits a jarring pain in his chest and it feels like a hole has been blown through his solar plexus, taking his heart and vital organs away with it, and he cannot breathe. Funnily enough, much like the man bleeding out in his arms — _why can't the police do their job right? Where's the ambulance!?_

"Jungwoo," Kun begs the younger man whose breaths are shallow now, undoubtedly a result of his lungs giving out as the moments pass them by. "You can't die, okay? You gotta stay! Come on. Focus on my voice."

Jungwoo tries to smile and he almost succeeds, too, if not for more blood oozing out of his mouth only moments later.

 _"Say please."_ The younger whispers feebly, his voice breaking, and Kun can't help but sob because of this man who was once his best friend — who still is his friend, but from the look of things, won’t _be_ for too long. He thinks of refuting him but the very second that he tries to oppose him, the younger tries to say something to convince him in return — coughing out more blood instead.

Kun cannot stop his tears from falling.

"Don't…" He tries to stop him, shakes his head no, but Jungwoo, like the little shit that he always has been, shakes his head right back, refusing to do as Kun says.

"Don't let me go like this." His words come broken and gurgled, and the hole in Kun’s chest gets wider — it takes his lungs now, heart having hollowed out the moment Jungwoo hit the ground.

—

“People should be allowed to find and fall in love on their own terms,” are the first words Kun remembers hearing from Jungwoo, “—in their own time.”

He agrees to them, and also, not.

“You say that because you’re one of us.” says someone, a warbled voice — dry and disdainful in Kun’s memories, with a face that he fails to place. “Because you won’t know who your soulmate is until—” someone glares at him, Kun doesn’t know who but it shuts the voice up.

Kun cannot look away from Jungwoo who looks like he couldn’t be bothered less.

He stares as the younger chuckles.

“You think you’re the first person to say that?” Jungwoo asks, perusing the boy in front of him with a calculative grin. The way that he speaks is so perfectly neutral and yet, gentle. Kun isn’t sure if he sounds like a kindergarten teacher or a textbook villain. “Soulmate markers don’t mean shit to me.”

When no one says anything — opting to stare at him in a state of blatant disbelief — he sneers at the lot of them and walks away.

Kun never questions why he follows him, even though he largely does not agree to what the younger believes in.

“People falling in love when and with whom they want to would render the Soulmate Markers useless.” He says as the two of them walk to wherever Jungwoo is headed — which turns out to be the music room. It’s empty for now. Jungwoo takes a seat at the grand piano and begins playing something that sounds a little nostalgic. Just out of the blue. Just like that.

“And would that be a bad thing?” He asks, and Kun is clueless how to answer.

—

“We already know how it ends, hyung.” Jungwoo whispers to him one day when they’re studying in the library. Kun has a book on Soulmate Compatibility open in front of him, while Jungwoo reads through the Boston Medical Journal and makes notes about the intricacies of the Soulmate Detection and Location Process. “But, sadly, everybody’s stuck in pretending.”

Kun looks at him curiously, not understanding why he would mention it now.

Jungwoo feels the gaze on him and looks back up.

“These people…” He gestures towards the mess on his table, “...They don’t understand what they’re missing. They keep talking and talking, but they _never_ want to listen, you know?”

“I don’t.” Kun replies. “I don’t know, I mean.”

Jungwoo smacks his forehead with his hand.

"This. Here." He whispers, laughing softly, then turns the journal and the articles towards Kun. Kun wonders what is in these papers that he could want to know—that he doesn't know already.

The title is the same unassuming thing that he'd read last semester when it was published.

**Soulmate Detection and Location: Isolation of Marking Traits and the Match of Instances**

Kun pretends to take a look at the Journal once, to appease Jungwoo, anyway. Then he looks back at the younger, and raises his eyebrows in question.

Jungwoo sighs as if he finds him utterly hopeless.

“Hyung, they’re talking about how they find people’s soulmates at the centres.” He mutters. Kun nods, because yes, he’s read through the Journal before — unprecedented advances in Biotechnology they’d said it was — so he knows what they’re talking about. 

The process involves Physical Screenings, and Sit-Down Interviews which are followed by Blood Sampling, DNA Extraction, Individual Stimuli Response Tests followed by in groups. If they find two or more Compatibles, then the Compatibles have to go through some more screenings and tests to find out if there really are any soulmates within the bunch, or not. 

A lot of the time, people’s soulmates would be in other countries, so if the GSRTs don’t come through with surefire results, then the estimated biological map of the soulmate would be sent to the Detection and Location Centres all over the globe. And then, it’s a waiting game.

The other tests and processes involved in the procedure are a well-kept secret because the Government doesn’t want this technology to get into wrong hands — which Kun can understand, he supposes, because God only knows what someone who wanted to misuse the system would do with it if they got their hands on it. 

(He really cannot imagine how someone would misuse soulmate finder tech, but then again, what does he know?)

He looks at Jungwoo in open confusion, still.

“What does that have to do with...anything?”

Jungwoo sighs, “Maybe they don’t wanna know about _where_ there’s a good chance that they’re going, hyung,” and says nothing further, shaking his head. Kun wonders if the other thinks that he’s daft.

He wonders if he’s hearing things or if the other does mumble, _‘Who am I to point them in that direction, anyway?’_

—

“—It’s called Compartmentalisation, Kun.” Ten sighs outs of frustration, rubbing the corner of his eyebrow with a knuckle. “I hope you know what that means.”

Kun scoffs, sucks in a sharp breath and takes an unconscious step forward, stepping back immediately when he realises that no matter what Ten says right now, he is his best friend.

“Compartmentalisation? _Compartmentalisation!?”_ He spits out angrily, running his hand through his hair. “Ten, you’re my best friend! You knew everything! You could’ve told me about this—”

“—And what difference would that make, huh?” Ten hisses at him, taking an intimidating step closer and Kun cannot blame him, this is emotionally taxing and if he was someone else, he’d probably lose his cool and come close to throwing hands, too. Ten continues speaking, “You’re still too self-righteous for your own good! Would telling you that they’re sending you after your best friend somehow _stop_ you from going after him?”

“I still deserve to know.” Kun enunciates, firm and sure of himself. “You’re still my most trusted and dearest friend before you're my co-worker, Tennie.”

Hearing the nickname Ten’s agitation seems to deflate, he takes a deep breath, then releases it slowly, and Kun knows that though he might still not be on Kun’s side with this, he’s placated for now.

“We’re not the same people, Kun.” Ten rubs his face, sounding rather dejected than upset. “I’m an assassin turned spy and my soulmate is a fucking so-called supervillain that I _married._ We're _always_ on the course of collision — somewhere always, _always_ on the road between relapse and remission. Always moments away from losing each other _forever._ Do you think I can afford to fucking compartmentalise, then?" He asks, his voice breaking just the least bit at the end.

Kun sighs softly because _this— this_ is exactly what he didn't want. He didn't want Ten to hurt. Didn't want to remind him of the delicate little thread that his marriage — and more so his life — precariously hangs by.

"You can’t bring up compartmentalisation as far as Jaemin and I are concerned because that is my _husband_ and I for one _need_ to know if I’m gonna end up having to put a bullet through the two of us if that is what it comes down to, or overthrow the government with him because either way _nothing —_ and I do mean _nothing —_ comes in between me and him.”

Ten sighs, banging his head back into the wall that he's leaning against, eyes locked on to the ceiling. Kun looks at him apologetically, knowing that this is a sensitive topic for him, and he'd rather not have anyone speak of their relationship, or anyone get wind of it.

"So no, Kun-ge. You and I are not the same." Ten murmurs. "You might still get your best friend behind bars because you're following orders, but I would watch the world burn and choke on its own ashes if it meant saving someone I love from harm."

There's a knock on the door and it opens to Jaemin's face, "Dinner's ready, my love, and Kun hyung."

Ten's demeanor instantly transforms into one full of love and happiness. "We'll be right there, baby."

Jaemin beams, "Take any longer than a minute and I'll poison it." He sends Ten an air kiss, shuts the door and leaves.

Ten pauses where he is, and then laughs after some seconds pass.

"Poison it, he says. He'll just add strong laxatives to it and enjoy it while we suffer."

"How does that make it any better?" 

"You don't have all the facts." Ten chirps happily, while speed-walking out of the room.

"Those being?" Kun asks as he follows.

"He's precious and I love him."

—

"I love you, hyung." Jungwoo says, and Kun smiles, opening his mouth to reply that he loves him, too, but the other cuts him off. "I'm in love with you."

And now he doesn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry, Woo." He looks away. Can't meet the younger's gaze. "But _you know_ how it is. People like us… We're not meant to have that."

As Kun utters the words, the light leaves Jungwoo's eyes and is replaced by something that resembles... _coldness._

"Are you going to let a sentence dictate your choices, and your life?" The younger murmurs, incredulous, and for the first time Kun notices how he _loves_ the warmth of his tone instead. "Especially one that is _most inclined_ to make sure that you end up lonely and die alone?"

"It is what it is, Woo." Kun replies, feeling the energy drain out of his body. "You _know_ it's never one or the other, _please_." This Jungwoo doesn't feel like the one he knows and loves.

"Funny you should say that." The younger sneers. "My wrist says _'Please.'_ Please, as if it isn't one of the commonest fucking words in the lexicon! Do you know how many times I've had to wonder if I've lost my soulmate, hyung? You _don't._ You cover the words on your wrist as if that will make it any better—as if it will stop those from being the last words that your soulmate will _ever_ say to you— Well, News Flash, hyung — _it won't!"_

Kun stares at the younger—the guilt eating at him, and wonders how the younger's voice is _still_ so kind.

"Knowing who our soulmate is… It doesn't get better for us anyway, hyung." Jungwoo smiles then, but it's a sad little grimace on his lips that Kun sees. "People with the same soulmate marker as ours… We lose _either_ way. So why shouldn't we find our happiness with someone that we care for, and who cares for us?"

"I can't do that, Woo. I'm not brave like you."

"I'm gonna make us all a world where loving someone of your choice wouldn't have to be bravery, then."

—

When Kun volunteers for the procedure, he hears a lot of things.

_You're a blessing, son._

_You're gonna protect us all._

_Captain Qian has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?_

None of those make him feel better. 

He wishes Jungwoo was here but he hasn't heard from him in weeks now, ever since the day that he confessed. Kun misses him — misses him much like missing a limb — an ever-present phantom that stays with you in every waking moment, but is never really there. He wants to hug him tight and tell him that _if platonic soulmates were a thing, you'd be mine, always, I promise_ — but he isn't sure how much that would help their cause. _If_ it would, at all.

He gets a text message from a number he does not recognise.

_Run away while you still can, hyung. Don't let them make of you what you aren't._

Kun holds that message close to his heart, as they administer the serum into him. _It's finally been replicated to perfection!_ They say. The only one successful attempt in the years since the initial trial failed. It's supposed to make him stronger, a weapon for the authorities. A weapon for _what?_ He does not know.

He keeps the message close to his heart as he goes under—as he writhes and shivers in the metal box and wonders if death would be easier—even as he comes out a new man, not quite a man but much, much, _more._

The words Jungwoo never wrote still ring in his ears, dig a hole into his heart, and bury themselves there.

_Don't let them take your humanity away._

A year later, he gets a phone-call from his best friend — _still_ his best friend, after _all_ this time, _'til the end of the line_ — and Jungwoo's voice on the other end of the phone is as Kun has always known him. Playful, full of mischief _— warm_ as Kun has always loved him.

"You've made quite the name for yourself, hyung." Kun can hear the grin in his voice.

"So have you, Woo." He murmurs, thinking back to all the intel he has gotten over the past year — someone stealing the government's technology — the ones dealing with Soulmate Detection in particular. "At this rate it won't be too long before you make someone really angry."

"Oh, I love doing that!" He giggles on the line. Kun _misses_ him. He _wants_ to apologise, but words fail him, too.

"Woo… We—I know that we were never built to forget…" He swallows. "…it doesn't mean you still can't resent me."

Jungwoo laughs — bells tinkling.

"All is forgiven, hyung." His voice is full of love. Kun feels anything _but_ forgiven. "You best focus on protecting your greedy little government, and their money-laundering schemes disguised as social service. _Because I'm coming for them, and I'm gonna burn them to the ground."_

Jungwoo chuckles softly before hanging up.

—

"Please." Kun gives in, begs him to stay—to shut the fuck up because help is on its way and he can't lose more blood! _Please, Woo. Quiet, now. We'll save you._

Jungwoo laughs—completely disregarding his begging—and coughs out some more red. He moves his fingers—tries to—and Kun is quick to hold his hand and pull it close to his chest, his heart— _anything_ to stop him leaving.

He refuses to acknowledge that it feels like the end. Refuses to believe that the light dying from his best friend's eyes is indeed, an omen of death.

"We all—" This time Jungwoo coughs and a violent shiver breaks him down. "We all get hurt by the ending."

He closes his eyes.

His hand in Kun's goes lax.

Kun feels like someone has torn his heart apart with their bare hands.

When he goes back to his dingy apartment in the lesser-known part of the city, he wonders if cutting the words out of his wrist would make them any different from the ones that Jungwoo breathed last.

And as he looks out of his window while dawn breaks, he makes a promise. To the morning, to his best friend, to the man who died in his arms — he would make them all a world where loving who you want wouldn't have to be bravery.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> aka kun's villain origin story.
> 
> fairly subtle as they may be, there are many many layers to this narrative that i'd love to talk about if anyone actually found them all. that being said, i'd keep it rather open to interpretation as well.
> 
> thank you for reading and for giving this baby a chance. ❤
> 
> you can find me on [twt](https://twitter.com/glitteryongs) here! 💌


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